Cultivating Character - Developing Your Personal Values

"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation,
because your character is what you really are,
while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”
– John Wooden

 I am a big believer in personal branding. How you are viewed in the marketplace is important to your success. But character is even more essential than branding. Character goes deeper than reputation or image. Character is built below the surface and behind the scenes.

One of the best ways to cultivate character is to develop your own set of personal values. Personal values are simply qualities that are important to you. They are characteristics or behaviors that you want to live out.  

Why?

Why would anyone want to develop a set of personal values?

1. Personal values increase your personal fulfillment.

Anytime you live in alignment with what is important to you, you are living with intention and purpose. You close the gap between who you want to be and who you are.

2. Personal values guide you in decision making.

Your personal values are your "true north." Like a GPS, they guide you in the direction you should go and give warning signs when you get off track.

3. Personal values keep you grounded in difficult situations.

Living by your personal values helps you develop inner strength. Like a tree with deep roots, they keep you grounded when the winds of adversity blow.

In this difficult time of the coronavirus pandemic, you may lose your income, you may lose your job, but no one can take your personal values. If you persevere during tough times and stay true to your values, you will likely flourish on the other side of adversity.

How?

So how can you develop your personal values?

 Here are a few ideas.

 Step 1: Brainstorm. 

Before looking up any list of values, think about what is important to you and the qualities you would like to model. List as many as you can think of. Try and make them a combination of warmth and strength. Successful people are both tough and tender. Make sure your list is balanced.

Step 2: Look your words up in a thesaurus and see if you like any words better. 

For example, initially, my list included discipline but then I came across grit. I like that word better. I liked the word vitality better than enthusiasm. Try to select words that resonate with you emotionally.

Step 3: Limit your list to a total of 7. 

I recommend no more than a list of 7. I used to have 15 values and I liked them all, but I spent more time trying to remember them than thinking about how I can apply them. You want to be able to recall this list without difficulty.

Step 4: Before you come up with your final list, let them incubate in for about a month.

See if they stick or if you discover alternatives as you live your life from day to day.

Step 5: Once you have your list, spend a few minutes each morning or evening thinking about living your values. 

Develop a short, written narrative about how you want to live out your values and read it every day. It does no good to create your values then fail to regularly reflect on them.

Here is my list of personal values:
 

Integrity
I want to be the same person in private that I am in public. I want to be authentic, what you see is what you get. I want to be the same person no matter what group I am with. I want to be dependable and consistent.

Focus
I want my life to be concentrated in a few areas. I don't want to be a mile wide and an inch thick. I want to concentrate on developing my few strengths. I want to be sharp rather than well-rounded.

Grit
I want to be tough, resilient, and possess the ability to work through challenges. To grind things out.

Love
Love is simply kindness in action. I want to be thoughtful and considerate of others. I want to exercise patience and give others the benefit of the doubt. 

Vitality
I want to fully enjoy life with positive energy and passion. I want to put my heart and soul into the things I do.

Wisdom
I want to be continually learning and growing. I want to make smart choices. I want to obtain insight on how to best live this journey called life.

Generosity
I want to share my time, resources, and talent for the benefit of others. 

It's a bit scary sharing these values publicly knowing that I am not close to living out any of these values fully. But if you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time.

I want to encourage you to develop your own list of personal values. Most people won't take the time to do this. But I am betting you are not like most people.

"You have to be before you can do.

You have to do before you can have."

-Zig Ziglar

Essential Life Skills – The Big 7

"Wealth is the ability to fully experience life."
– Henry David Thoreau

In the marketplace, there are two sets of skills necessary to thrive; job skills and life skills. Job skills include talent, expertise, and competence.

But job skills alone results in partial performance. How many people do you know possess solid job skills but still do not succeed in the marketplace?

Here is a common saying in Human Resources circles:
People are hired for the job competency and fired for interpersonal incompetency.

Job Skills combined with Life Skills lead to Peak Performance.

These Life Skills enable you to thrive, not just at work, but in life.

I believe Life Skills can be categorized into 7 areas.
 

7 Essential Life Skills

Emotional Intelligence

The development of confidence, optimism, resilience, adaptability, and personal responsibility.
 

Communication Skills

The ability to persuade, teach, and present in a clear and confident manner and to actively listen.
 

Productivity Skills

The ability to set goals, overcome distractions and procrastination, and execute on the highest priorities to deliver superior results.
 

Leadership Skills

The ability to influence, deliver feedback and promote the development of others.
 

Relational Skills

The ability to connect with others in order to create a sense of likeability and trust.
 

Collaboration Skills

The ability to work well within a team, adapt to different personality styles and constructively handle conflict.
 

Customer Service Skills

The ability to create value, solve problems and delight your customers.

All of these skills can be developed through training, not trying.

As I continue to create Accelerating Excellence resources, I will be focusing my efforts on helping you grow in these 7 areas.

Developing these 7 Essential Life Skills will not only turbo-charge your career, but they will also lead to a life of flourishing.
 

Which of the 7 Essential Life Skills are you strongest?
Which of the 7 Essential Life Skills do you need the most improvement?

Feel free to reply to this email. I'd love to see your answers.
Your feedback will help me as I continue to develop resources.
 

Grief, Gratitude, and Grit

"Rock bottom became the solid foundation
on which I rebuilt my life."
- J.K. Rowling

GRIEF

I miss going out to dinner with my wife, family, and friends. I miss visiting my 1-year-old grandson. I miss going to concerts. I miss watching the joy of spring baseball and the intensity of the NBA playoffs.

I miss visiting my clients who I have grown so fond of. I miss spending the day training with those eager to learn

I know it's not forever, but it will be for a while longer. That is the hard reality.

It's perfectly normal to grieve in a time like this.
 

GRATITUDE

Last Saturday night our entire family, spread out in several locations, enjoyed playing virtual games over the internet for several hours. We didn't do that before COVID-19.

For several years I've wanted to write books and develop online training. I have been able to do this because of the stay-at-home directive.

We have food, shelter, and it's springtime.

It's important to be grateful in a time like this.
 

GRIT

Life after the virus will be different. The future of my business is unknown. Your future is unknown.

Let's together plan to be in a better place than before the virus hit. This will take more than wishful thinking. It will take wisdom, adaptability, and hard work.

It's important to have grit in a time like this.

31 Ways to Turbo-Charge Your Productivity

"How we live our days is how we live our lives."
- Annie Dillard

Because of the guidelines created by COVID-19, I am unable to go into the studio to record the Accelerating Excellence with Del Gilbert podcast. However, I still want to provide you with resources of value. 

As I begin writing my second book, In Control: How to Focus on the Important, Manage the Necessary, and Enjoy Life Along the Way, I would like to give you a preview of some of the principles and practices within the book.

Here is a one-page Resource Guide, On Purpose: 31 Ways to Turbo-Charge Your Productivity. 

One productivity practice for each day of the month.

• Download it.

• Post it. 

• Review it.
  
  DOWNLOAD IT NOW!

Adaptability, Resilience, and Optimism

While we are deep into the Coronavirus pandemic, I am impressed by the adaptability and resilience of people. In a very short time, educators quickly transitioned to teaching online, restaurants began offering take-out and delivery, and stores put up plastic shields and designated 6 feet indicators.

And, by and large, we who are so used to our freedom have wisely stayed at home.

As I write this on Easter morning, the analogy is ironic. We will come out of this dark time to a bright and new future, full of possibilities and hope.

Forging Your Future

"I don't go where the puck is,
I go to where the puck is going."
– Wayne Gretzky

forge - definition

1. to form by heating or hammering.

2. to form or make, especially by concentrated effort.

These are difficult times. What makes it so challenging is not knowing how long the pandemic will last or what life will look like on the other side. Some things will eventually get back to normal but in many areas in life, there will be a 'new normal'.

How are you positioning yourself for the future? Even with the limitations of needing to stay home and having less access to some things, you have options.

Stephen Covey's #1 habit in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is Be Proactive. Simply stated, be the kind of person who takes initiative, who makes things happen.

1. Pivot

For many of you, you will not only need to adapt your business, career, or lifestyle, you will need to pivot. You will need to fundamentally change the way you operate. 

During this time at home, I am working on transitioning much of my training online. I firmly believe this will set my business up to be stronger than ever.  

Think about how your industry or environment will be different when this is over. What can you do now to set yourself up for success in the new reality? How can you leverage your talent, experience, and skills for an even better future?
 

2. Get Lean

Because of the current situation, I have been able to see how much excess I have in my life. I see items cluttering the house that I will never need or use. As I seek to reduce expenses, I see how many subscriptions I signed up for that I have long forgotten about but are still paying for. I am more aware of how many unnecessary trips I used to take to the grocery store.

What can you do now to simplify your life?
 

3. Dig Deep

Hold on to what is solid in your life. As a Christian, this season has made me more dependent on God. Continue healthy habits. Don't abandon your personal values. Stay connected to family and friends who strengthen you and give you joy.

You will get through this. The key question is:
How will you come out of this when it's over?

Take the actions today to position yourself to be better because of it.

"We must embrace adversity
and burn it as fuel for our journey."
– Kenji Miyazawa
 

Make the Best of Any Situation

"Without the dark, we would never see the stars."
– Miriam Wilson

About 10 years ago I created a Life Vision. It is a two-page document that describes how I want to live my life. I read it regularly to help me live with purpose and intention.

Although it's meant to be private, here is a portion of it.

"I make the best of any situation. I don't get too high or too low emotionally. My happiness is not dependent on outside influences. I know my internal attitude is far more important than my external circumstances."

In this uncertain time, we need to be smart. We need to be safe. But we don't need to panic. We will get through this.

I like to approach everything with what I call 'realistic optimism.'  For many of us, the road back is going to be tough. But tough make us stronger.

So how do we make the best of a bad situation today?

1. Look for the Good. 
Think of how you can best use your time and energy in the situation you are in. Within the scope of three days, all my engagements for the next two months came to a grinding halt. I have been wanting to write a book for years but my day-to-day business left me little time to write. I now have time to write the book. I am also practicing piano a lot more and de-cluttering the house.

2. Count Your Blessings. 
The Coronavirus has provided clarity on what's really important. Be thankful for your family and friends.

When we are sick, we are reminded of how we take our health for granted. In the same way, when we are confined, we can be thankful for our freedom. When store shelves are empty, we are reminded that we live in a place where the food supply and purchasing options are almost endless.

3. Reach Out to Others.
Don't neglect relationships. Call or Facetime others. Drop someone a card or note. Send an email to others to let them know you are thinking about them

Where you can safely help others, do so. If you are going to the store, ask an elderly neighbor if they need anything. Continue to be generous.

Don't play the victim. Don't give up mentally or emotionally. We as humans are incredibly adaptable.
 

Much of my business is working with the healthcare field. For those on the front lines right now, I want to give you a heartfelt 'Thank You.'You are truly heroic.

To those of us whose career or business has been hit hard, don't give up hope.  Although our future is uncertain, there are unforeseen opportunities that lie ahead. We simply need to keep our eyes open for them.
 

"A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner."
- English Proverb

Starting Your Day Strong

"The first hour of the morning is the rudder of the day."
– Henry Ward Beecher

How do you start your day? 

Many people hit the snooze button a couple of times, jump out of bed, get ready for and rush off to work.

In this world of busyness, I'd like to suggest that you decide to be different. As the quote above suggests, how you spend the first few minutes sets the tone and direction for your day.

I am convinced you will enjoy life more and be more effective if you start your day slowly. Grab a cup of coffee, settle in your favorite chair, and spend some time in solitude. (It doesn't have to be an hour. 15 - 30 minutes works just fine.)

What do you do during that time?

Here are a few ideas:

• Read something inspirational.

• Pray. (Make it more 'thank you' than 'give me.')

• Reflect on the day before. What went well, what didn't go so well and how you can make today better.

• Develop or reflect on your personal values and decide to live them out in the next 24 hours.

• Practice gratitude.

• Journal

• Meditate

• Visualize the day ahead with you being your best and giving your best.

Do you have a long commute and need to leave very early in the morning? Perhaps you practice solitude on your commute.

Do you have children who wake up early in the morning? Perhaps you practice solitude during your child's nap time.

Don't make excuses, make a way.

We have all heard of the concept of 'core training' in the arena of fitness. I think of solitude as 'spiritual core training.' It helps develop inner strength.

Practicing solitude also helps you enjoy life more. And if you are not enjoying life, others won't enjoy you.

In a world obsessed with busyness and doing, spend some time focusing on 'being'. Being the person you want to become. 

"You can't wait for inspiration.
You have to go after it with a club."
- Jack London

Reacting vs. Responding

"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to what happens to you."
– Chuck Swindoll

I'd like to share with you a simple, but powerful formula I came across a few years ago. I guarantee that understanding and applying it will make your life better and make you better at life.
 

E + R = O

E = EVENT
An event happens in your life. A layoff. A divorce. A sickness. A setback.

R = RESPONSE
You choose your response to the event.

O = OUTCOME 
Your response to the event determines the outcome.

Let me explain how this helped me in a powerful way. 
I unexpectedly got laid off in 2015. Frankly, it was an emotional gut punch. As you would expect, I had normal human emotions of anger, resentment, and bitterness.

But I had a choice.
I could either concentrate my energies and emotions looking back at the event. However, it would not change the fact that it happened and, more importantly, it would not take me to the place where I wanted to go (the Outcome).

Or I could use my energy and emotion in a positive way, moving forward to the outcome I wanted.

This is the difference between reacting vs responding. Reacting is letting emotions take over. Responding is pausing and choosing the way that leads to a good outcome.

Tim Kight, who came up with this formula, would say there is a 3 step process to Responding:
1. Pause.
2. Get your mind right (Think through your choices and decide your best response.)
3. Step up. (Move forward with constructive action.)

I made the choice to focus my time and energy in building a successful business. And I am happily back providing leadership training with my previous employer.

I don't share this with you to imply I'm such a great guy. Frankly, I didn't want to sabotage myself.

Since I came across this model, I am amazed at the number of life situations it applies to.

I have seen the scenario play out time and time again, where someone can't get past the Event. They spend all their time there. They are looking backward and it's not helpful.

I know reacting is a lot easier than responding. But when tempted to react, consider the outcome. Will that take you where you want to go?

Play the end of the movie.
I always want you landing in the best place possible.

How might you apply this formula to your life?

"We can either make ourselves miserable, or we can make ourselves strong."
- Carlos Castaneda

Keeping Commitments

"The person who is slowest in making a promise
is most faithful in its performance."
– Jean Jacques Rousseau

Several years ago I entered into a consulting agreement with a client. A few months into the engagement, my key contact in the company said,

"Del, we are very happy that we selected you to help us. But do you want to know one of the primary reasons we chose you? Because you were the only one of the three consultants who submitted their proposal when you said you would."

I will never, ever forget that. Before that incident, I confess I took my commitments too casually.

Over the years, my relationship with this client has resulted in several hundred thousand dollars of business. And our relationship is healthy and ongoing still today.

Since that time I have become very aware and careful of my commitments. Even small ones.

How about you?
- Do you consistently do what you say you will?
- Do you get back to people?
- Do you meet, or better yet, beat deadlines?

Here are 3 reasons to consistently keep your commitments:

1.  It Builds Your Credibility

When you commit to something, you build hope with others. When you follow through, you earn trust. 
 

2. It Helps You Succeed In the Marketplace

You can be the friendliest person in the world with a high-quality service or product. If you are unreliable, this will prove to be a major shortcoming. If you build a reputation of dependability, it will be a competitive advantage.
 

3. It's the Considerate Thing To Do

Very often, not following through on your commitment means work stalls or bottlenecks. Other people are depending on you so they can move forward with some project or action. Candidly, not getting back to others is inconsiderate.


I don't share this with you to convey I'm Mr. Wonderful (that would be Kevin in Shark Tank). I still occasionally have something fall through the cracks. I share it with you because I have seen several careers stalled because of a lack of follow-through. I want you to thrive.

Little things often turn into big things.

"You have to be before you can do.
You have to do before you can have."
- Zig Ziglar