"Listening is a strange and magnetic thing.
The one who listens to us is the one we are drawn to."
- Karl Menninger
True listening is hard work. It takes focus and concentration. It takes being others-oriented. It means getting out of our world and being interested in someone else's world.
Also, people speak at an average of 125 words per minute. But the mind can comprehend at a rate of 400 words per minute. That's a lot of time to go on a mental vacation!
I'd like to share with you a simple, 4-step listening model that can help us all become better listeners.
It's the LISA Model.
LISTEN
Listen to truly understand, not to respond. Listening is not simply refraining from talking while the other person is speaking. When listening, try temporarily putting yourself in the other person's place.
INQUIRE
Ask follow up questions. If you say, "Tell me more about that," you will be immediately in the top percentile of effective listeners. Very few people do that.
SUMMARIZE
Paraphrase what the other person has said. True listening and understanding only occurs when the other person understands that you understand.
ACKNOWLEDGE
Do you notice this fourth step isn't 'Agree'? You don't have to agree with the other person, but acknowledging their viewpoint is powerful. This sounds something like:
"I can see why you say that." or
"That's an understandable perspective."
Can you even imagine if someone tried this on a political talk show?
Listening is challenging, but it pays big dividends.
Listening is equated with wisdom and intelligence. Listening conveys respect to the other party. Listening helps you truly connect with another person. Listening means you are learning something. Listening increases your ability to influence.
Working on your listening skills will make you better at life and will make your life better.
"Seek first to understand, then be understood."
- Stephen Covey
Habit #5 in Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People